>> California <<
>> WANDERLUST // VOL: I <<
The dollars in our savings jar had been mounting up for years & years. In our minds we we’re going to be Thelma & Louise – desert road trips in our mustang convertible, wearing ridiculous glasses & our hair wrapped in scarves – less of the robbing gas stations, murder & suicide – Obviously.
Instead of trying to recall every single adventure we had whilst in Cali, we’re sharing with you our discoveries:
>> THE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO HAVE RENTED AN APARTMENT<<
There was not one moment we weren’t on the road. Cliche applicable – “too much to see, too little time“.
>> AMERICAN’S WERE MIND BLOWINGLY KIND ; THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS STRANGERS IN L.A <<
It can be the sweetest thing ever; like when you realise you’re in a shared apartment & your roomie takes you out for Thai as soon as you arrive // but it can also be the creepiest; like when a man –who clearly believed he was a member of motley crew– invites himself to sit with you while your casually eating & starts munching on your pizza without any warning whatsoever.
>> HALF YOUR DOLLARS WILL GO ON TIPS <<
At first you find yourself wondering ‘Who to tip or not to tip?’ — you’ll soon discover the short answer is : everyone.
>> CAR VALET IS A THING <<
These guys waste absolutley no time. It’s like literally being kicked out of your car & having your valuables chucked at you. It’s genuinely terrifying. your first instincts are — “is this a mugging?? are we being hijacked??” ..& just in case you weren’t sure — YUS you tip these guys too.
>> DRIVING A CONVERTIBLE IS NOT AS GRACEFUL AS IT LOOKS IN THE MOVIES <<
The reality of it, you’re essentially driving blind. Your hair is constantly whipping your eyes. you don’t need to see where you’re going though, right?? – This is our excuse for the six car pile up we we’re involved in.
>> YOU WILL UNINTENTIONALLY FIND YOURSELF ON A STRICT MEXICAN DIET <<
No one warned us HOW GOOD mexican food was in LA. Morning’s without breakfast burritos will never be the same. You need to get some Bull Taco in your lives if you ever reach Oceanside, CA.
>> RODEO BULLS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WITHSTAND <<
If you can last longer than 35 seconds on one of those things – without bruising from head to toe / suffering from serious neck injuries – we salute you.
>> DOWNTOWN LA SHOULD BE RENAMED TO MEXICO <<
If we didn’t understand spanish, we would have been ruined.
>> EVERY CORNER IN LA, YOU’VE GUARANTEED SEEN IN A MOVIE <<
It’s a no brainier we’re obsessed with movies. We scouted all our favourites.. from eating pie at “Rae’s Restaurant” Where Clarence took Alabama after watching kung fu movies in True Romance — to ordering milkshakes from Seth Cohen’s table in “The OC” Pier Dinner.
>> THERE ARE SOME STRONG STEREOTYPES GOING ON <<
Our favourite being Juan, the mexican pool boy who we met during our pile up.. And yes, of course we was driving with no licence.
>> AMERICAN’S REALLY DO ALLOW ANYONE TO HANDLE A GUN <<
Whilst having a rough five minute crash course on the way a gun works, it really hits home that your about to be shooting an authentic revolver with live ammunition. — Why are we being trusted ?? Why aren’t we wearing bulletproof jackets?? — turned out, we we’re both naturals. There’s a tick off the Bucket List.
>> DAYTIME VEGAS IS HARASSMENT CENTRAL <<
No, Fully grown adult dressed as Sully from Monsters Inc, you can not “hide under our bed tonight” — No, “Dr Orgasm” we are not interested in hiring a prositute, thank you.
>> VEGAS ACTUALLY NEVER SLEEPS <<
We found the local Dive Bar “Double Down” in Sin City, where the Ass Juice shot’s were served in miniature toilets & you we’re fined $20 if you had chunks in your vomit // This is where we met some awesome americans that showed us how to party true Vegas Style. We can’t recall any details.
>> GHOSTTOWN. ISN’T AS DEAD AS YOU’D EXPECT <<
We stumbled across this mini town as an accidental Highway turnoff. The Dinners served the most delicious Grilled Cheese sandwiches, which we haven’t stopped trying to re-create.
>> EVERY AMERICAN ASSUMES ANYONE BRITISH KNOWS TOM JONES ON A PERSONAL LEVEL <<
>> DEATH VALLEY REALLY DOES FEEL LIKE DEATH <<
Don’t get us wrong the views were absolutely mind blowing, however, not recommended as a ‘nap stop’ when your vegas-hungover — No amount of Air-conditioning can save you from that heat.
We are sure there are hundreds more lessons to be learnt.
So we are already planning/saving for round TWO.
One story that will stay with us forever is ‘Two Pines Chapel’, probably one of our favourite memories from the whole trip.
After three- ish- hours driving ourselves deeper & deeper into the desert, seeing nothing for miles & miles, we we’re about to accept we were lost, Then- there it was; Kill Bill’s Chapel — It looked exactly how we imagined – Except it was covered in barbed wire & covered in NO TRESPASSING signs. No friggin’ way did we drive all this way to be shot for trespassing. We took our chances & rang the owner – who easily had the strongest mexican accent we’ve ever heard. -after rambling he states “I’ll be there in 10 minutes” … SORRY WHAT?! TEN MINUTES ?!
1. There’s nothing within a ten minute radius.
2. We’re actually in the middle of nowhere.
We suddenly became well aware that no-one knew where we were – this is it, this is how our lives are going to end. we started predicting the headlines – whilst frantically texting our parents “WE’RE IN THE DESERT”. Then Oscar arrived, who, thankfully didn’t end up being mexican murderer, but instead gave us permission to roam free & even spilled all the gossip on Kill Bill: Volume III. Life Made.
This adventure made the cut >>>>>
BRING ON ROUND TWO.